thoughts&
observations

Wow! So many things has happened since my last blog entry – that I’m completely stoked to be writing again.
I’ve been very busy with various stuff – most of it is work, but in general, most of it also comprise the resolve to keep ‘interesting’ and keep doing things that I’m passionate about.

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Quite recently, I have had the opportunity to see Factory Girl (2006) – a movie about the famous Edie Sedgwick and her freewheeling life in the 1960’s: Her alleged love affair with Bob Dylan, her fascination with Andy Warhol and various other socialites.

I know she’s a precursor to the modern day socialite figures like Paris Hilton, admittedly famous for “famous’s sake”. But somehow, there’s something really intriguing about her raw ‘brokenness’, which inevitably led to her untimely demise. It felt like she had so much charisma, a certain je nais se quoi – I guess her brokenness was exactly what drew people to her. And it seems like the drama was forgivable, because she didn’t strike me as someone who was insincere or overtly bratty – she was exactly like that because of her aspirations, because of circumstances that surrounded her, until it came to a time when it spiraled out of control.

Another essential part that the movie left out – was the fact that Andy was struggling with his own inner demons at that time as well. He became fascinated and obsessed by living vicariously through other people, that he seemed to ignore other people’s feelings. But i know that it wasn’t sheer ignorance or insensitivity: It was probably because he himself didn’t know how to deal with it. Andy had a murky past too, a past that he absolutely wanted to douse in all these interesting things he called art.

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Last night we also watched the musical “Wicked”.

All I can say about Wicked can be summed up into a short list:

1) Musicals make me want to sing through life. All the time ( no fail).
2) It was a beautiful production with a stellar cast.
3) You know that it’s a pretty epic story when you’re still thinking about it till you go to sleep.
4) It’s extra special when you enjoy it with people you love.

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You may also realise that I have updated my website! * Double hooray! Headstands! Cheer! *

After a few months of planning, changing art directions several times, correspondence with my developer friend through Christmas vacations, I have finished updating my portfolio.

By any means, of course, the work is still constantly changing and evolving.
Updating a portfolio is always an exercise in patience and strategy – It took me a while to figure out what exactly it was I was looking for.

Some new changes that I’ve done with the new work are as follows:

Anyway, that’s about all for now, folks! I’ll be writing more posts that suit my fancy soon.

While the rest of the world is busy raising awareness against the proposed SOPA – a bill that apparently limits the vastness of the internet and severely curtails civil liberties – I have been busy, well, with work..

I’m no American, but in a time where we are defined by a globalised economy, it is hard to imagine such a bill being put into action. America has been the petri dish of internet evolution; More specifically, Silicon Valley – the place where my sister has been living for the past 10 years or so – has been the place where most of famed internet corporations thrive and exist. It will be a shame to have free speech stripped away; or as some people put it – “live the internet like cable tv, where content is digested and segregated into rations”.

It’s hard to imagine living that way, when – the internet has intrinsically become an extension of my life that it has almost permeated to my deep core. The internet has been part of me , my craft, what we do, how we do things – and by the very definition of our sense of “self” can somehow be retraced back into this wonderful innovation. Without it, careers will change, people will change, and we’ll demote ourselves back into our own small fragmented realities.

This reminds me of a small anecdote.

I once knew this woman, who, by the scheme of things, moved to Singapore from Shanghai. Within the course of knowing this person, I have found out that she – my friend, the girl who reads Milan Kundera, who speaks impeccable English, and who has a strong, robust understanding of design concepts under her sleeve – has been so sheltered from fundamental world changing events.

Ask her about mongollians and the long withstanding ethnic tensions shared by the Chinese – and all we’ve ever gotten were blank stares. Ask her about rich historical events that transpired in Auschwitz – and the same thing happens.
This blank space seems to be a desolate one; her eyes seem to pry for answers that no memory could fully provide.

And let’s not even begin with the concepts of democracy, or modernization – or concepts that have been so routinely shared by Western influences, that I have almost begun to think that everyone has been briefed with these things, through history lessons, through word of mouth – or the internet.

Well, as it turns out, not everyone has received the memo.

I guess I’ve always thought that we constantly evolve into something better, and keep ourselves informed at all times. Whereas for some people in the world, access to this type of information has been severely limited; not by choice, but by structures that were in place.

The internet has bridged an important gap of information asymmetry accessed only by the affluent.

Imagine being able to provide an opinion for topics that was previously unknown before.
Access to information, language and updates – this is what the internet is about.
This has democratized learning, for the better.

And that, to me, is a life changing thing – a powerful thing. People should not be stripped of this right.

I was just randomly googling about the word “Authenticity” today, and somehow I stumbled upon Jean Paul Sarte’s discourse on his version of an Authentic self.

By any means, the “authenticity” that is discussed in the realm of philosophy shadows much of what we already know about the word. To live an authentic life was to follow your inner self, to celebrate your uniqueness and remain loyal to the guiding principles that govern your own person.

I like this concept. Throughout the article, the focal point shifts, and discusses how this translates to the concept of an authentic love. And how Sarte was essentially unconvinced that there was such a thing as “authentic love”, because whether we like it or not, being an outsider keeps you from living your authentic self (by implicitly trying to make the other person happy) or you’re constantly left impeding the freedom of others. Not quite the most convincing words from a philosopher who spent most of his life in a deep, loving relationship with his wife.

However, I think that this still offers some relief: Though we can’t always expect our experiences to pan out the way we expect, though our perception of things will inevitably be different from that of your partner, living an authentic self means living it by your rules. It is up to us to define it. Whether this means, coupling, following tradition, or rewriting tradition.  Which I find, in itself – powerful. To rewrite tradition, means that we are free from the dogma that has kept us from evolving. To break away, is indeed a powerful thing.

Which leads me to 2012. I write the words “Own it” because that is what I’m asking for in this universe: I want to own it. I want to live an authentic life and do things that I haven’t done before. And yes, that probably includes breaking free from self limiting beliefs of tradition ( God forbid, I’m not the only one.)

To be honest, this post is inspired by someone asking me the question “So, what’s your new years resolution?” – Then I found myself dumbfounded with silence. Because I realised, I haven’t devoted any ounce of time thinking about things.  This thing is for sure, though: I want to be that authentic person that Sarte describes in the books.  I want to be an interesting person, someone I won’t mind hanging out with, and having a beer with.

I have a set of resolutions, most of which involve letting go of things, bad habits, self limiting beliefs – and planting new ones. It also involves trying new things, saying YES more often (in a world full of NOs, it’s always nice to say YES more often), and reading / blogging more often.

On another note, in writing my resolutions, I also thought about interesting concepts that Haruki Murakami presented in the book IQ84. Though I’m not yet finished with the book (around 18% to go, according to Kindle) – he has presented this idea of a maza and a dohta, two parts of yourself that manifest in reality, and one in a parallel world of dreams / possibilities. Upon further probing, I realised that this was a common place mistake of how Japanese people pronounce the word “mother” and “daughter” – meaning, that as we evolve, our perception of selves in reality and in the dreamworld are inextricably intertwined – one giving birth to another.

This is an interesting thing to think about. I wonder what my dream self would tell my reality? Will it be oddly disappointed by my choices? Will my dream self delight in the way I spend my day? Are we both as ambitious as each other?

This is my year. 2012 is a year to get those two selves acquainted with one another, and mix it up. We are, afterall, a cocktail of our reality and our dreams.

PS. I leave you with this beautiful mix tape to start owning your own year. Happy 2012!

http://8tracks.com/witanddelight/jumpstart-january

[taken from wit+delight blog. source]

thoughts on 27ness
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